


aren't we all just looking for a little bit of hope these days

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: wait 'til you meet my little sister [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Family Feels, Female Ben Hargreeves, Female Five Hargreeves, Female Klaus Hargreeves, Female Luther Hargreeves, Genderswap, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, NO FUCKING INCEST, Protective Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Protective Vanya Hargreeves, Trans Diego Hargreeves, a lot's different tho, isn't that a strange idea, semi-emotionally healthy hargreeves, siblings bonding, some shit's the same, strange concept i know, the hargreeves actually caring about and supporting each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-09-27 12:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20407570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: By the time Reginald Hargreeves dies, Lena’s in Ireland. Violet’s in L.A. with Allison (and so is Rachel, by default). Diego and Vanya are still in town, but they’ve actually kept up with each other over the years. When the funeral occurs, the last time they all saw the mansion was at Rachel’s funeral, but that wasn’t the last time they all saw each other.When Five finally shows up, it isn’t to the most dysfunctional family in the world- it’s to a family that’s trying its best, failing at times and succeeding at others.But one thing's for certain- no one here is grieving the man whose ashes are sitting in the urn in front of them, that's for sure.(The Hargreeves sisters and their brother finally meet up again after their father dies. Things go rather different this time around.)





	aren't we all just looking for a little bit of hope these days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mayfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayfriend/gifts).

> Title is from "Those Nights" by Bastille.
> 
> Small headcanon for this 'verse- though Lena travelled a lot, she preferred Ireland a lot so she spent a good portion of her time there between Rachel's funeral and the beginning of this fic.
> 
> Also to note- Vanya never wrote her book in this version of events, as she was rather busy with actually getting first chair in various concerts, figuring out how to use her powers, and hanging out with Diego, Patch, and their shared friends.
> 
> Also, this is going to be a bit longer than a chapter, though as it's hugely canon-divergent (no shit) I'm not sure how many chapters it's going to be. I know where I want it to go, but beyond that...who knows? All I know is that I'm going to have a lot of fun with this, and I hope you all do too!

_If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance._

**― George Bernard Shaw**

Seeing everyone back in the house that they all left is so much strange, Vanya has to admit. They've grown up so much this last time she saw them all, at Rachel's funeral. They all look healthier, somewhat happier, almost settled into their own bodies. When they all lived here together, it always seemed like everyone was straining against their own bodies, parts of them wanting to fit in or escape or to fight constantly. The people in front of her, however, are not the sisters that she last saw six years ago.

Allison is as much of a model as she seems on the covers of magazines and in movies. Her curls, highlighted with gold, sit perfectly over top of her blue designer button-down with the short sleeves and her long black slacks. She carries success in her posture as she walks down the front stairs to greet Diego and Vanya, who have arrived together as they have one car they share between them and it just made sense to drive out here together.

Behind her comes Rachel, who should be dead, but who Vanya knows Violet has made corporeal over the years thanks to a few photos on Facebook accounts. (_That_ had been one of the few phone calls they'd all exchanged over the years, as Allison had explained that Rachel and Violet were living with her in L.A. for the foreseeable future.)

Rachel is probably the most casually feminine of Vanya's sisters. She wears her hair in a loose ponytail, with a dark hoodie over top of a dark blue tank top, a black A-line skirt, black tights, and dark blue converse. Her arms are crossed over her chest, showing off her black fingerless gloves. She’s been corporeal on a near-regular basis for nearly three years now, and thus she’s been able to change her clothing from what she died in.

Then there's Violet, who is the most confusing blend of male and female stereotypes, somehow feminine, androgynous, and masculine, all at the same time. She wears a black crop-top underneath of a green army vest, with a flannel wrapped around her waist over top of skinny leather pants, which feed into a pair of black leather boots. She has five piercings in each ear, a head of shaggy curls, and enough black eyeliner around her eyes to be declared the leader of the Black Parade without question.

But more importantly, her eyes are bright and lucid, without any hint of drugs. Vanya's not sure how long Violet's been sober, but it's definitely been a decent amount of time.

And Violet, never one for awkward tension, says with a crooked smile: “So. It’s been a minute.”

Well, that’s an understatement.

"Yes, it has," Vanya says, because hanging out with Diego and his friends for the past few years has taught her that silence isn't always the best option. Sometimes, it's good to respond rather than just wait out the awkward.

"So, uh, Rachel," Diego says, "How've you been?"

Rachel gives him a small grin. "Been getting some good exercise in in L.A. Learned how to dance over the past couple of years- I've gotten really good at jazz. Been working on hip-hop in between helping with the kid."

Before Vanya has the opportunity to ask what "kid" Rachel's referring to, the door opens behind Diego and Vanya. Lena walks in, looking rather different than the last time Vanya saw her, at Rachel's funeral. Her hair is still buzzed, but she wears cargo pants and steel-toed work boots, a cable knit sweater over top of a white button-down and white undershirt. She carries a large utility backpack on her back, which looks crammed full. She looks like a rather confident butch lesbian, all told.

"Hey, guys," Lena says, the tiniest bit of an accent slipping through. Last Vanya heard, Lena was in Ireland, so maybe that's where she picked it up. "How ya?"

Lena's hair is buzzed, her syllables rough, her posture a lot looser, and her clothing more comfortable and casual. All in all, she’s not the uptight leader who left six years ago- and Vanya can't help but prefer this more casual version to the one that she last saw.

Diego is the one who puts some of that into words, though. "You seem to have loosened up a bit since we saw you last," he says with a snort. "You get laid?"

Lena smirks. “As a matter of fact, aye.”

Diego’s eyes go wide with shock for a moment before he offers up a high-five to the former Number One, who returns it after a small surprised moment of her own.

"Nice to see you, Diego," Lena says, the smallest of smiles on her lips- a sort of light fondness that Vanya never would have seen between Diego and Lena before Rachel's funeral.

And in addition to all of these changes, Vanya’s also feeling pretty strange because of the discovery of her own powers, which she still has yet to tell any sibling about save Diego. The power hums under her skin like the music hums through her mind, and she knows that it both sets her apart from her siblings and brings her closer to them, makes her more like them.

(She's not going to pull it out yet, though. Her siblings seem to be accepting her easy enough without knowing about her powers. She wants to see if that continues, if they really have grown since they were all in the academy together.)

"Nice to see you too, Lena," Diego replies, and Vanya can hear the sincerity in his voice. The years apart have bred a loose respect rather than resentment, have led to a reevaluation of childhood judgements. Without Father here to push them against each other, the brutal competition of the Umbrella Academy has been replaced by a sense of teasing competition.

(And Vanya's gotta say that she prefers the latter far more.)

As Pogo and Mom walk up behind Allison, Rachel, and Violet, Vanya smiles, just a little. They haven't changed one bit since they were all kids, before Five disappeared. Mom still has that pressed skirt and apron, and Pogo those glasses and cane. Mom's smile is still the kindest thing that Vanya knows, though Diego does have a rival claim to that, though.

(Vanya supposes that the difference is in herself, not in Mom on that one, though. Years of becoming genuine friends with Diego has led to Mom not being the sole source of kindness in her life. Thanks to her brother, Vanya has had plenty of kindness in the years since she moved out.)

"Class, we're all here, then," Lena says casually, leaning back a little bit on the heels of her boots. "So, we gonna bury the worthless fuck who adopted us right now or tomorrow?"

Vanya's jaw nearly drops, as does that of Allison, Diego, and Rachel. Only Violet seems far more amused than shocked, offering Lena a grin.

"You should be more appropriate in discussing your father, Miss Lena," Pogo says, "He's an important man, and your father. He deserves-"

“Fuck appropriate,” Lena says, “The last thing Father deserved was a solemn eulogy. Let’s celebrate his death with some alcohol.”

"Sounds good to me," Diego says with a grin, offering up a fist-bump to Lena, who gives it a slightly questioning look for a minute before taking it.

The change in Lena is _ staggering_, with everything she says just shocking Vanya a little bit more. First the sex comments, then the apathy towards Dad’s death, and now this burning rage.

Vanya has just as much reason, if not more, to be angry at their father, but she hadn’t expected the same level of feeling from Lena, the former favorite of their father (specifically for how utterly loyal Lena was to him).

"We'll do it tomorrow," Allison says, "Give you a chance to put your stuff away and spend some time together this evening, if that works for you all?"

Vanya exchanges a look with Diego. She doesn't have rehearsal until the day after tomorrow, and he doesn't have anything planned for tomorrow, either. She thinks that they'd honestly looked forward to seeing their sisters again and had left a decent amount of time to hang out with them while they were in town from L.A. and Ireland.

Lena shrugs. "Sounds good to me." Her gaze flicks over to the urn sitting on the main table in the living room, right through the empty doorway off the main hallway. "Not like I care about dead ol' Dad." She looks back to Allison with a smirk. "Much rather talk to the living and the fondly-remembered-dead than the dead who couldn't give two fucks about us."

"Can't argue with that," Violet says with an understanding smile.

"Vanya and I are cool with staying for a few hours," Diego says, and Vanya's as thankful as always for including her in his 'we.' He's done that a lot over the last few years when they've hung out with his friends and co-workers, and she's done the same as well.

"Perfect," Allison says.

\- 

So, that first night before the funeral, when all six remaining siblings are finally at the Mansion together, what do you think is the sensible and sane thing that they end up doing?

Of course they open up the mansion's bar. Of course they all get trashed, except for Violet, who's not exactly keen on relapsing after being sober for six years. One withdrawal was hell, a second one is not exactly ideal. 

“So,” Lena says as the record player in the corner of the room plays whatever record Rachel put on it, “Tell me what all you guys got up to while I was overseas.”

“Well,” Violet says, “I got a girlfriend.”

Nearly any other person in the world probably would have started off with the first half of that story, with the pregnancy and the birth of Allison’s son and the official, permanent move to LA, but Rachel knows her sister. She knows that Violet would never start a story where it would make sense to start it. She knows that Violet is not a person who would ever do the sensible thing. She sometimes does the right thing, but never the sane, reasonable thing. She's just not built like that.

“Really?” Lena says, and holds out a slightly hesitant high-five. Violet returns it with far more force than Lena probably expected, but Rachel can see the half smile on Lena's face. “So did I. Lucy, her name was. Though mine only lasted probably a few weeks before it ended.”

Violet grins. “Dani and I are going on three years,” she says, and Rachel sees the way that Violet’s hand is gripping at that army vest of hers, which is one of Dani’s old vests that she gave Violet a few months ago, on their anniversary.

“Damn, sis,” Diego says, and offers out his own high five. “That's impressive.”

Rachel can tell that the siblings outside of Rachel and Allison are quite a bit surprised that Violet is the one holding down the longest relationship out of any of them, but Rachel's not. She doesn't think that she would be, even if she had known to begin with, though. She knows that Violet puts her all into this, pours every ounce of herself into things that she's aiming for. When she got addicted to drugs, she got addicted to literally anything and everything possible. When she got pregnant, she pulled out every single stop in order to keep that baby safe for Allison.

“Thanks, _ bro,_” Violet says, giving Diego a crooked grin as she puts emphasis on the “bro.” “But yeah, I was going to invite Dani to come with us, but Dani and planes don’t really get along, so you guys will just have to come visit us in L.A. if you want to meet her.”

“And Klaus is staying with her while we’re here,” Allison says, and now it’s time for Vanya, Diego, and Lena to be confused.

“‘Klaus?’” Lena asks, a bit confused.

“My son,” Allison answers, not specifying beyond that, and thank god for that. “He’s about six-years-old right now, and he has class this week, so he couldn’t come with. Dani, being the dear she is, volunteered to take care of him while we were here taking care of the funeral stuff."

Violet grins. "Jealous?" she asks as she leans forward and takes a sip of her glass of plain coke. She can't risk relapsing, not with all the effort she's put in to doing better, but that doesn't mean she can't have fun.

Lena smirks. "Not a bit," she says. "I like the life I got to lead after I left this fucking house. Learned some things, fucked some girls, worked a lot of jobs, whatever. I was happy, and that's all that mattered."

"Congratulations," Diego says, tipping his glass in Lena's direction, and though there's a bit of a teasing lilt to his voice it's also clear that he's being pretty sincere. In turn, Lena gives him a bit of a fond nod.

"So what about you, Diego?" Allison asks, "Any girls in your life?"

Next to Diego, Vanya smirks into her drink- a rather uncharacteristic expression that shows a level of teasing between her and Diego that didn't exist six years ago. Violet's definitely curious about that, not gonna lie- she knows that Diego and Vanya kept up with each other in town, but she's not sure of the extent of their relationship. Are they close friends like her and Rachel and Allison, or just vaguely know each other, or is it something in between?

"Not really," Diego says.

"It's complicated," Vanya adds, smiling at Diego as he gives her a mock-glare- an exchange that Violet could never have imagined back during their days living here, where Vanya was nothing more than a silent ghost haunting the halls and Diego would only ever talk kindly to Mom. Things between them have _definitely_ changed- they're definitely friends, of a sort, with the same level of knowledge of each others' lives that Allison, Rachel, and Violet have.

"You get laid?" Lena asks, teasing Diego with the exact same question he'd asked her.

"A few times," Diego says.

"Congratulations," she returns back to him, just as a pretty familiar song comes on the record player in the corner of the room, one that's easy to identify even after fifteen years.

"Wait a fucking minute," Allison says, nearly spitting out her drink. "I remember this song. Lena- you used to love this song."

Lena lets out a short bark of a laugh. "Yeah, I did," she says, fingers tapping out a beat on the table.

Rachel's smile is brilliant, and Violet can already see her sister's legs moving, bouncing out a beat against the bar stool. "Think we all should dance?" 

In retrospect, making Violet the only sober one in the room was probably not the best idea as Violet's not exactly known for her impulse control, even after being six years sober. She makes no move to stop them all pushing back the sofa quickly and making room to turn the living room into a dance hall, everyone showing off a wide variety of moves that really don't work for the song but somehow work for them, individually.

And Violet finds herself laughing as she twirls next to Rachel. Really, truly laughing, belly-deep and sincere, in a way that she never did in this house when she lived here.

Violet remembers this house when their father was in charge, when there was nothing but terse silences over dinner and the only music they got was quiet in their rooms and they were experimented on rather than cuddled.

She finds herself agreeing with Lena. Fuck their father. Fuck this place that broke them instead of raising them, that made them compete against each other instead of supporting each other, that left her thinking that the best way to fight against the ghosts would be to drown herself rather than ask for help.

As the song ends, they all eventually settle back down in their seats around the bar and the living room, mixing up their usual pairings. Lena's sitting on the couch next to Violet, Vanya with Rachel at the bar, and Allison and Diego sitting on the other sofa. Allison and Diego are talking about something in low voices, with Rachel showing off one last dance move to Vanya before settling down into a seat. Violet's explaining something about her girlfriend to Lena, who would usually be a bit irritated by anyone talking that much about their personal lives, but right now is content to listen to her sister (who she hasn't seen in years) talk about her life. Lena can't guarantee that this patience will last, but it's okay to hear in the meantime.

All in all, they all feel rather like a normal family. A family where reunions like this happen every year, where it didn't take the death of their father to have them meeting up, where superpowers didn't tear them apart years ago.

Lena's gaze flicks up to the portrait above the fireplace- the only remaining sister of hers who isn't here, right now, cheeks flushed from laughter and dancing and alcohol. Now that dear old Reginald's dead, the only thing that could make this moment actually feel like a true, healthy family would be if Five was here, if they knew where their other sister ended up. If her disappearance had ever had a resolution, an epilogue, instead of a chapter dropping off in the middle of the page.

"Hey," Lena says as Violet winds down in her story, and her siblings look up at her. "Toast to Five, whatever the fuck she ended up."

All of her siblings raise their glasses, even Violet with her glass of soda. "Gotta agree there," Violet says.

As if on cue, the world rumbles and a blue light shines through the window from the courtyard, sending them all to their feet, glasses dropping to the tables beside their seats. "What the fuck?" Diego shouts over top of the noise, and Lena can't help but agree with his sentiment.

Rachel sprints to the door, throwing it open, as the rest of them hurry to follow her out to see whatever is going on in the courtyard. Above their heads a portal of sorts is opening up, the clear cause of the loud noises and almost earthquake-level shaking the house is doing. Something in it is flashing, an almost humanoid figure of sorts emerging with wind and plenty of noise gusting from the portal.

Then the figure drops to the ground, landing as gracefully as a cat despite the clear force with which she slammed into the ground, and then stands up as the portal winks out of existence.

And Lena nearly snorts alcohol out of her nose, because there’s Five as if a day hasn't passed, her hair still in that same long braid, and a too-large 50s dress hanging from her frame, with a gun in her hand. Her dark eyes are still too piercing for a thirteen-year-old, and there's something haunted in her gaze that goes further than any of the current Hargreeves can remember her gaze ever going.

"Alright," Diego says, “I know I'm drunk, but is that little number Five I see?”

“Well,” Violet says, “I'm not drunk, haven't been for years, and I still see her, so I'd have to think so.”

Five's hand flies to her head and she groans. "I got rid of this fucking thing fifty years ago," she snaps at her braid, then rolls her eyes. "Nevermind, I'll deal with that later." She glances up at them, holding her rifle. "Alright, why are you idiots still staring at me?"

-

There are a number of conflicting emotions that Five has to deal with when she slams into the ground of a still-living courtyard.

First is that her body is much smaller than she's used to. Her head is heavier due to the sudden weight of hair on her head, back in that braid she chopped off three decades ago. The clothing that she so carefully selected to blend into Dallas of the 1960s sits large on her body, hanging loosely from her smaller frame.

The second is that there are zombies in her family's courtyard, the still-alive faces of corpses she watched rot away decades ago. 

These people, they must be her siblings, she understands logically. But the last time she saw her siblings alive, not dead bodies, they were barely teenagers. They were dressed in knee-high socks, with long hair and clean faces and blazers.

This man in black leather and sweaters, this woman with the blond buzz cut, this model with a crown of golden curls and dark skin and a jumpsuit, this woman in four pounds of emo makeup and brilliant piercings- these are the corpses she spent years making pilgrimages to during the Apocalypse. Combined with this woman in a black skirt and a hoodie and this small woman in a button-down and slacks, these must be her sisters and- her mind stumbles over Diego's gender, momentarily- her brother.

Five nearly presses her eyes shut to erase the memories staining her eyesight, of Diego and Violet and Lena and Allison's bodies. She has a mission to complete, an Apocalypse to avert. She can't get distracted by the memories of the corpses of people not yet dead, of tragic epilogues yet to come to pass. She can't stop and get bogged down by her memories of corpses and death and the end of all things.

According to the calculations she's made, she has a week to fix things, to save her family from utter destruction, and she can't let herself fail. She has to stay focused, to find a way to save her siblings and stop the Apocalypse.

"Why are you still staring at me?" she barks at these people, who are still looking at her like she's the strange one, like she's the ghost and they're not the living dead.

"You've kind of been missing for a long time," the woman who Five is pretty sure is Violet, what with her disregard for gender norms and love of heavy emo makeup. "That's generally what people do."

Five sniffs. "Well, I need some coffee if we're going to have even a remotely functional conversation. And maybe some alcohol, but only time will tell on that. Meet you all in the kitchen." Then she winks down to the kitchen and goes searching for a coffee mug while she waits for her siblings to take the long way down.

In the few minutes she has alone, she takes a deep breath. Her siblings are alive upstairs, far older than she's ever known them. They've missed forty years of her life, and she's missed over fifteen years of theirs. That's a lot of time to process, from either direction, a lot of milestones missed.

And as much as she might want to learn about their lives, their actual personal issues aren't that important. She can't put any effort into learning anything more than the bare basics of what she missed. Instead, she _has_ to figure out what caused the Apocalypse and how to stop it. If she doesn't complete that mission- the apotheosis of her hellish life for the past forty years- then her family will die and it won't matter what she knows.

Her siblings emerge down the stairs as the practically antique coffee maker dispenses a cup of sludge that probably won't be enough to keep her going but will be a decent enough start. Her siblings find seats around the table, with Lena at the head with Vanya sitting next to her, with Rachel sitting next to Allison on one side, Diego on the other, and Violet sitting criss-cross-applesauce on top of the table, her legs spread wide.

Then, to Five's dismay, she feels a cramp ripple its way through her abdomen as she turns to speak to them. She grimaces. “Fuck, I'm going to go through puberty again. Anyone got some pads?"

All the women in the room wince, and even Diego looks a bit sympathetic.

“None of us have lived here in years,” Lena says, “But I should have some lying around here. Do pads have an expiration date?”

"Yeah, they do," Five says, "Trust me, I figured that out rather quick at the five year mark."

Most of her siblings' faces go confused at the comment of "five years," but, once again, not really a priority.

"Well, then," Allison says, "We can pick some up when we go shopping."

Five raises an eyebrow. "Shopping for what?" She asks, tone clearly disdainful. 

"New clothes for you," Allison says.

“No time for that,” Five says bluntly, not even pausing to readjust her slipping sleeves, “We’ve got an apocalypse to stop.”

All six of her siblings stop and stare at Five. “What?” Lena asks, stunned.

"Long story short, I went to the future, it's shit, and I've gotta stop it, alright?" Five says, and she gets nods from Vanya, Diego, and Allison. Lena keeps staring at her, gaze critical, and Violet watches Five with a curious eye, taking in whatever Five says with an almost humorous smile on her lips.

"How long do we have?" Rachel asks, and Five's gaze falls on one of the two siblings she never found the body of. She knows, thanks to a statue in the courtyard, that Rachel died far before the others, and so her current presence is a bit of an anomaly. It probably has something to do with Violet's powers, but however it happened it gives Five another variable to compensate for and possibly take advantage of. If they can see and interact with Rachel, even though she's dead, then Rachel's powers can probably be used in whatever way is necessary to stop the Apocalypse.

And it can also lead her to keep Rachel around, if not alive, as well.

The idea that Five might get to keep all of her siblings after she saves the world, not just Allison, Violet, Lena, and Diego, is a heady one. Never, in her forty years, did she imagine that she would get to have her whole family back. The possibility of having everyone safe- it only makes her more determined to end the Apocalypse, to prevent it from ever happening. 

And so this increased determination is what tips her decision in favor of disclosing the date and time to her siblings. "Next week," she says. "We've got a week to stop this thing."

"Then tell us what we need to know," Lena says, determination clear.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment if you enjoyed and/or you want to see this continued! Comments are the lifeblood of a writer and, to be completely honest, provide a lot of motivation because I have a primal need for validation.


End file.
